insonmia

My deep statement of the day: Insomnia sucks.
Second deep statement of the day: Feeling sick sucks.

I don't feel good AND I cannot sleep. That is bad combination. I don't know how much of my insomnia is based on physical inability to rest or the mental gymnastics that my mind is doing right now. So, I prayed for a while... then I just laid for a while... and now I am on the computer... looking at things I want... that is bad... but it is what I am doing. Oh well... I am not actually buying any of them and they are well intentioned things like laptop batteries and a bigger school bag. But I still have no money... I wonder when my completely broke days will end... I keep thinking that God will do something crazy like send me money but apparently he doesn't know my address... even though things are kind of falling apart around me I still feel peaceful about it most of the time.... I guess that is how God provides....

I also keep thinking about a friend of mine. Without saying very much I feel like she is really close to accepting God. And I want her to SOOOO badly. So, if you think about it please pray for her. And pray for me that I will know the right times to open and shut my mouth.

Today I had orientation for VLI (Vineyard Leadership Institute) and I am really excited to get started. My first class is on tuesday and I am ready to go. One interesting thing was said kind of off hand regarding spiritual warfare. Apparently as people enter into this program things tend to happen. I totally can see that happening. I don't know if I believe in the stereotypical view of the devil (I think that is kind of a guise so that we take evil less serious than it actually is) but I think that there are definite evil powers at work. I think that when a person decides to actually serve God with their life that anything and everything expendable with either stop working, disappear, act crazy, or just generally disappoint. Nothing is guaranteed to us and I think that is probably something that I will need to remember. I feel like I am already under attack and I haven't even started the program yet... so, prayers for strength would be greatly appreciated.

Ok, so those are my rambelings for tonight. I need to try and sleep now.

I hope you all slept well....