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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

...um... what do I say

Well, it has been months since I lasted used this site and to be honest, I am not entirely sure why I am thinking about picking it up again. It is such and odd concept (this whole blog thing that is). I rant and rave or just merely observe and post my thoughts in a written form to which I picture someone sitting out there somewhere going... hum... I thought about that before... or, maybe just... hum... what the hell is wrong with her?

Maybe this whole thing is just technological narcissism.

But I think I am going to do it anyway.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

"Meaningless! Meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless."
What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun?
Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south and turns to the north;
round and round it goes, ever returning on its course.
All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from, there they return again.
All things are wearisome, more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing.
This seems to be true. Sad, and yet true. These words were written 1000's of years ago and yet they are more true today than when they were written.
Do we try to find a point in life to make ourselves feel better? Do we look for meaning to feel less futile? What is the point of all our struggles? Why do we have the inherent need to survive?
So much of our lives just seems to be filling time until we are done. We run around in circles in the system that we have created for ourselves not stopping long until to reconize that so much of what we do it completely pointless. We struggle to have enough money or rather to have the right amount of money. I wish I could excape from this system--from this society--but there is no excape because it is so ingrained within us that what we are trying to ultimaltly excape is ourselves. And the only way that excape comes is through death. And that is a whole different story.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Cold, Fun weekend


This weekend Gypsy and I went to Garden of the Gods in IL to meet some friends and go hiking.

It was supposed to take me about 6 and 1/2 hours to get there but I get really lost due to bad directions and no street signs so it took me 8 hours. Here is the arch on my way through st. louis. Good thing I didn't wreck taking the picture while I was driving.
When I finally got there the sun was setting and it was getting colder and colder. We got a big fire going and before the end of the night there were 8 of us at the campsite. It was my friends and then friends of theirs and then friends of theirs... so, yeah, I got to meet some new people. They were fun and they all liked gypsy so that was cool.

That is the snow on the ground that never melted...

Here is leah trying to stay warm near the fire...


This is the place we hiked around the next day. It was pretty cold and we were tired so we really didn't hike so much but it was nice to just be outside and the park was really pretty. It would be fun to go back there again when the weather is nicer.
It was cold enough that we skipped out of camping the second night and drove back to their house. It was so nice to be in a warm, comfortable bed.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

mental health day

Today I woke up with the begining of a bad headache so I decided to take a sick day. I thoght it would be ok becuase there was not much going on at school today... So, I called in and it turns out that they needed me to sub. So, I felt really bad. I should have just gone in. But it was too late. So, I decided to just go back to bed.

But now I am back up again--facing the world... sort of... I am still in my pajamas and plan on staying that way until I leave for my 2nd job. I plan on spending the day reading and painting. This week has been a little rough so hopefully today will change that around.

But this is where I get to go this weekend:


Garden of the Gods in IL. I get to spend all weekend there with Leah and John and my dog, gypsy.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Fun at Wal-Mart

Does this freak anyone else out?

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

A New Job!

A few days ago I rode my bike down the street to get some breakfast. On the way back I decided to stop into this art store to see what they had. When I walked in there was an older man who started talking to me. He seemed like a really nice guy--it turned out he was the owner of the place. Sense they had a frame shop I asked him if they ever needed extra help. He said occasionally they do and he got my name and phone number. I didn't really think much would come of it. Well, this morning I got a phone call from him asking me to come in and talk to him more. So, I walked down there (it is probably 1/2 a mile from my house) and talked to him and his wife. The interview lasted all of about 3 minutes. My schedule works for them and they want me to work 5 days a week and occasional Saturdays. This is perfect. I will work from 4-6 every day so I will still have my nights free. I will get just enough money that I need and I don't have to quit my job! Plus I get to work at an art store that is really close to my house. This is totally what I had been praying for and it worked out better than I expected. I start on friday so we'll see how it goes...